Stop Letting The Outcome Decide Who You Are as a Woman

I wanted to take a minute and talk about something that keeps coming up: with clients, in my own coaching, in my personal therapy sessions:

this idea that we over-identify with the outcome.

Here is what I mean:

We only call ourselves artists when our art sells.

We only feel “successful” once we hit the title, the tenure, the salary.

We only believe we’re beautiful when the mirror, or someone else, confirms it.

It’s intermittent reinforcement at its finest:

like returning to a slot machine because the rush of the win makes you forget how many times you lost.

You keep going back to the scale because when the number drops, you feel like ten million bucks and conveniently forget all the mornings you walked away feeling like you failed.

You hold on desperately to a relationship that isn't mostly good because you want to hold on to the moments that it finally is.

But when we outsource our worth to something fleeting, arbitrary, or largely out of our control,

we’re doomed to chase happiness instead of embodying it.

If you are reading this, you might object: I don't really do that, though. Well, I'd bet you do, even if subconsciously. 

I do. We all do.

So here’s what I’m suggesting:

Call yourself an entrepreneur before you have the LLC.

Claim “writer” before you have the book deal.

Choose “sexy” before you meet the BS beauty standard.

Decide that you are wildly lovable even if you do not have a partner.

Because that’s where your power lives:

in who you are, not in what you achieve.

In how you see yourself, not in what anyone or anyone validates.

This is the work that I do inside of my circles.

I create spaces where we anchor into our core values, our unique blueprint, our badass goddess vibration.  

Where our value lies far beyond our accomplishments.

Where worth isn’t earned through milestones or metrics, or a certain life obtained.

When you shift from chasing outcomes to being the outcome,

everything begins to rewire.

✨ Success feels inevitable.

✨ Relationships give more than they take.

✨ Pleasure and getting what you actually desire (not what someone else things you should) becomes easy.

✨ The future becomes something you create, not wait for.

It really is simple, but wildly foundational.

And if you’re ready to separate who you are

from what you achieve:

I want to invite you closer.

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