We only claim the identity once the result confirms it. Artist when it sells. Successful when the title hits. Beautiful when the mirror agrees. It’s intermittent reinforcement—like pulling a slot machine lever, chasing the rush and forgetting the losses. When we outsource our worth to outcomes we can’t fully control, we stay stuck chasing happiness instead of embodying it. Power returns the moment you decide who you are before the proof appears.

I color-coded calendars, meal-prepped kale, and optimized my life trying to “get it right.” And still—it was never enough. The truth? Balance is BS. It’s not empowering, it’s soul-crushing. So what if the game was rigged from the start—and instead of playing fair, we went all in? Careers that light us up. Love that meets our standards. Energy that’s unapologetically too much. Stay close. Big things are coming.

This week as I was driving my feral child to day care, I popped on an Audible to drown out another rendition of Wheels on The Bus … and I happened upon Malcolm Gladwel’s Outliers . (Sidebar: this has been on my list to read for years and it is not disappointing!)   But anyway , he reminded me something I have always been fascinated with: Did you know that studies show that you only need 10,000 hours to become a master at something? For context, that's roughly ten years.  

You’ve probably noticed this about yourself: When a friend needs help, you’re there. No hesitation. No second thoughts. You’ll move mountains, reschedule your entire day, over-give until your own body is running on fumes.   But when it’s flipped? When someone wants to give to you? When they offer help, praise, love, or generosity, suddenly, your skin crawls. You deflect, minimize, brush it off. You turn it into a joke.  You’re more comfortable carrying everyone else than let

While it feels like two lifetimes ago, I can still remember lying in bed next to someone who was supposed to love me, who I was supposed to love back, staring at the ceiling, my body stiff with silence. The clock ticked. My chest was tight. And all I could think was:  why does this feel so heavy?   I told myself it was normal. That love was supposed to feel like work. That the pit in my stomach was just the cost of partnership.   But here’s what I know now: 👉 Love shouldn’t

Most women aren’t stuck because they lack motivation—they’re stuck because they’re depleted, disconnected, and carrying quiet resentment. And change doesn’t happen by thinking harder or manifesting more. It happens through embodied action, supported in the right container. I’ve watched women reclaim clarity, confidence, boundaries, intimacy, and direction in just weeks when they step into spaces designed for real transformation. This October, you don’t have to keep circling.

Resolutions seem be a grand idea, based in integrity, inspiration and good intention, a way to tap into our motivation and ambition.  The hypothesis is that if we just name our goals, maybe even proclaim them on social media, we will be more likely to meet them.