We only claim the identity once the result confirms it. Artist when it sells. Successful when the title hits. Beautiful when the mirror agrees. It’s intermittent reinforcement—like pulling a slot machine lever, chasing the rush and forgetting the losses. When we outsource our worth to outcomes we can’t fully control, we stay stuck chasing happiness instead of embodying it. Power returns the moment you decide who you are before the proof appears.

She stayed for almost twenty years because it “wasn’t bad enough to leave.” Not good—just tolerable. A spotless home. Smiling vacation photos. A life that looked fine from the outside while quietly draining her from within. Each time she lowered her expectations, she moved farther from herself. What she knows now is this: the cost of staying the same is far higher than the cost of change—and the distance between what she had and what she wanted was never as far as she believe

This week, I was doing what I do, scrolling on Facebook, and saw a friend post about his weight loss journey.    He looked f*cking fantastic.  It's why I stopped to look in the first place. But beyond even the obvious weight loss, the most noticeable thing about the “AFTER” photo was his big, beaming smile.   The caption told me that he had been showing up at the gym, focusing on his health, really doing the work. But tucked into his celebration post was an apology too- " I k

You’ve been sold a lie—that success lives in your sacrifice, your titles, your constant proving. But what really matters is the life that lights you up: the touch that sparks you, the yes that scares you, the moments you forget to be careful. Yes, I Am Too Much™️ is the revolution for women done with “good enough” and ready for a life that feels electric, abundant, and entirely their own.

She sat across from me this week and said something I’ll never forget: “My divorce cost over $100K—and it’s the best money I will ever spend.” She wasn’t celebrating the ending of a marriage. She was naming the true cost of settling—the nights she pretended she was fine, the intimacy that felt like obligation, the slow erosion of her standards and self. That money bought her freedom, breath, mornings without dread, joy without rationing.

Something people don’t always know about me is just how incredibly wild my career has been.   I’ve worked as a crisis counselor in a New York City ER. I’ve worked inside institutions in Sri Lanka with the NIH. I’ve taught sex ed in Philly high schools. I was a private investigator with the government. I got into the FBI.   But the one that always piques the most interest? My run as a mental health therapist in solitary confinement at the notorious Rikers Island.   Now—I’ll sa

It’s hard for women to get clarity on what they need when the world expects them to be everything for everyone else.   You’re running the house. You’re answering emails from the car. You’re the default planner, problem-solver, and peacekeeper. By the time you finally sit down to think about what you want, the mental noise is so loud it’s easier to just push it off another day.   This is exactly why I opened Breakthrough Sessions. One session. 90 minutes. Hyper-focused on the

Blaming them kept me stuck. Owning my response set me free. Because when my response is my responsibility, I don’t have to wait for anyone else to change before I do.

Deprivation mindset is dangerous...and...it keeps us stuck.