She stayed for almost twenty years because it “wasn’t bad enough to leave.” Not good—just tolerable. A spotless home. Smiling vacation photos. A life that looked fine from the outside while quietly draining her from within. Each time she lowered her expectations, she moved farther from herself. What she knows now is this: the cost of staying the same is far higher than the cost of change—and the distance between what she had and what she wanted was never as far as she believe

This week as I was driving my feral child to day care, I popped on an Audible to drown out another rendition of Wheels on The Bus … and I happened upon Malcolm Gladwel’s Outliers . (Sidebar: this has been on my list to read for years and it is not disappointing!)   But anyway , he reminded me something I have always been fascinated with: Did you know that studies show that you only need 10,000 hours to become a master at something? For context, that's roughly ten years.  

This week, I was doing what I do, scrolling on Facebook, and saw a friend post about his weight loss journey.    He looked f*cking fantastic.  It's why I stopped to look in the first place. But beyond even the obvious weight loss, the most noticeable thing about the “AFTER” photo was his big, beaming smile.   The caption told me that he had been showing up at the gym, focusing on his health, really doing the work. But tucked into his celebration post was an apology too- " I k

She sat across from me this week and said something I’ll never forget: “My divorce cost over $100K—and it’s the best money I will ever spend.” She wasn’t celebrating the ending of a marriage. She was naming the true cost of settling—the nights she pretended she was fine, the intimacy that felt like obligation, the slow erosion of her standards and self. That money bought her freedom, breath, mornings without dread, joy without rationing.

No one told me it would happen this way.   Not in one dramatic moment, but in a thousand tiny asks: ✨ Smile when you don’t feel like it. ✨ Say yes when your body screams no. ✨ Don’t rock the boat. Don’t want too much. Don’t be too much.   And so I started handing over little pieces of myself. One compromise here, one silence there. I didn’t even notice how much was burning until I was standing in the ashes.   That’s what society does best—it doesn’t shove you into silence, it

Something people don’t always know about me is just how incredibly wild my career has been.   I’ve worked as a crisis counselor in a New York City ER. I’ve worked inside institutions in Sri Lanka with the NIH. I’ve taught sex ed in Philly high schools. I was a private investigator with the government. I got into the FBI.   But the one that always piques the most interest? My run as a mental health therapist in solitary confinement at the notorious Rikers Island.   Now—I’ll sa

It’s hard for women to get clarity on what they need when the world expects them to be everything for everyone else.   You’re running the house. You’re answering emails from the car. You’re the default planner, problem-solver, and peacekeeper. By the time you finally sit down to think about what you want, the mental noise is so loud it’s easier to just push it off another day.   This is exactly why I opened Breakthrough Sessions. One session. 90 minutes. Hyper-focused on the

This is my story on how I practiced what I preach and learned to be confidently, ME.