A few minutes before my daughter Harper arrived, I panicked

A few minutes before Harper arrived, I was still bargaining with the universe.

Lying strapped to an operating table, my husband getting into scrubs, my midwife not yet in the room, I remember whisper‑prayers in my head:

Please, God. Please don’t let this have been the wrong decision.

No one tells you how loud doubt can be—even in the biggest moments of your life.

For years, I envied the women who either wanted kids with every cell of their body or those who were crystal clear that they didn’t.

I lived in the middle.

I waited for clarity to just… appear.

But it never did.

I waited so long I needed IVF. I sat in rooms with women who couldn’t imagine another life, while part of me admitted—quietly, guiltily—that I actually liked my life as it was.

I thought I wanted a child more often than not, but I couldn’t deny the thread of doubt that tugged at me even as I gave myself shots and counted follicles.

And then there I was, strapped to that table, bargaining with God.

Because even then, I wasn’t sure.

I’m happy to tell you it wasn’t the wrong decision.

How much I love my daughter is a story for another time.

It turns out—you can have a child and still keep all the things you love about your life on the table.

I say that now as I type this on a train to Boston, laughing with one of my best friends.

But I’m sharing this because I want you to hear me:

I understand how heavy life can feel when you’re not sure.

When you’re standing in the middle—half pulled by desire, half paralyzed by doubt.

That’s why I created Become Her: 5 Days to Power, Purpose & Pleasure on YOUR Terms.

It isn’t a space that demands certainty.

It’s a space that welcomes the doubt and says, Let’s look at it together.

It’s a safe, soulful place to explore what you want—without judgment—so you can grow into a life that actually fits you.

💎 If you’ve been waiting for every single piece to make sense before you move, hear this: you don’t have to.